Original Date – July 24
HGTV is my failsafe. If nothing good is on TV, I turn to the home and garden channel. Well, sometimes I don’t even surf the stations…but that’s not important. For those that don’t know what HGTV is, the station plays a lot of home improvement/design shows.
Last night I was watching House Hunters – neither a home improvement or design show, I know. This is a show that allows viewers to observe the house hunting trips of those looking to buy a home. We see three homes and then the buyer decides which one they prefer. At the end of the show, the camera crew returns to the buyers home months after the purchase to show the changes the buyer has made to the home since the purchase.
As I watched last night I came to probably the same realization that many of you had as you read that last paragraph. Why. Why would you watch that show? Why do you care what homes they buy? Why does it matter?
The reality is it doesn’t matter. Nothing really matters…
As many of you know, this past month my grandpa (Papa Hayes) passed away. He was 85 years of age. On July 1, he lost his battle with congestive heart failure. When I received the news, I had just left church. It was a Tuesday night. I sat in my car, listened to my mom speak over the phone and felt the tears run down my face.
I was sad.
It’s that realization that anything unsaid will remain that way. Forever. Did I tell him that I loved him enough? Did I visit enough? Did he know how much he meant to me?
The viewing was on Friday and the service was on Saturday. I was honored to meet so many of Papa’s former players, students and friends. I was proud to be his granddaughter. I was happy to celebrate his life with others. You can touch a lot of people in 85 years.
The military burial was beautiful. The sound of “Taps” made me cry, but I was at peace.
Mom and I returned home late Sunday night. By Monday, I was exhausted, but ready to get back to work. I seemed to be getting back into the swing of things when it happened. Friday morning, July 18, my cell phone began to ring off the hook. At first, I didn’t answer because I had a lot to do. But, after several calls from different people I became concerned.
Sarah called again and I answered. I heard her crying, unable to speak. She managed to get one word out, “Chiv.” And I knew. Our roommate/teammate/friend was gone.
Suddenly, work didn’t matter. Where I ate lunch, didn’t matter. Meaningless.
Carrie (Chivington) Roeth, a life-long athlete, had been diagnosed with cancer just three short years ago. And on July 18, three days before her 27th birthday, she lost her battle.
Why?
There is no answer. I don’t understand why God would allow someone so full of life to be taken so early. I don’t understand why Justin will have to raise their three-year-old little boy without his wife. It doesn’t seem fair.
I am confused. I am sad. And I am humbled. I am humbled by the brevity of life. Death is a reminder of everyone’s destiny. We are not guaranteed any certain number of days on this earth. How we spend our time matters. Perhaps HGTV isn’t the best use of my time.
Who shall go up into the mountain of the Lord? Or who shall stand in His Holy Place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted himself up to falsehood or to what is false, nor sworn deceitfully. – Psalm 24:3-4